Sunday, January 22, 2006

Mordecai Tendler's Brother Aron Tendler Forced To Resign His Position As Rabbi Or The Shul Was Going To Fire Him

Date: Sat, 21 Jan 2006 22:52:16 EST
From: vickipolin@aol.com
Subject: Case of Rabbi Aron Tendler (Los Angeles, CA)


Case of Rabbi Aron Tendler (Los Angeles, CA)

Many of you may or may not know that over the last several years there
have been serious allegations of professional sexual misconduct
(with minors) made that Rabbi Aron Tendler of North Hollywood, CA.
Earlier tonight I was informed that Rabbi Aron Tendler was offered the opportunity to resign from his position as rabbi at Shaarey Zedek Congregation, instead of being fired. He chose to resign.
If you or anyone you know has been abused by Rabbi Aron Tendler, and
need resources please do not hesitate to contact The Awareness Center, Inc.
or your local rape crisis center.

The Awareness Center, Inc.
443-857-5560

--------------------------------------------------------------------
Rabbi Aron Tendler, Brother of Rabbi Mordecai Tendler

He served as teacher, Assistant Principal, and Principal at the (girls)
Yeshiva University of Los Angeles High School.
Rabbi Aron Tendler was replaced as principal of the girls YULA circa
1990 after reports that he molested teenage girls. The principal of secular
studies at YULA at the time, Dr. Bruce Powell, was adament that Aron had to go.
Instead of calling him "Rav Aron," his students was at YULA, behind
his back, called him "Rub Aron."

Rabbi Aron Tendler has told people, including women he was intimate
with, that he was molested as a boy.

"We were at an all-girls school," says a former student. "Our hormones
were going nuts. And Aron Tendler was there. He was flirty. He had two or
three buttons of his shirt unbuttoned, walking up and down the hallway. He
provoked it. Kids bored in school were flirting with him. I can't say he touched
people unwillingly. I think they did it and then afterwards asked, ohmigod,
what happened?"He wasn't someone who was going to force himself him on you. Years
laterthe girls woke up later and said, this was wrong.
"Before he'd have an affair, he'd discuss the halacha [Jewish law]
aboutwasting sperm.

"Whenever it gets down to it, Aron gets afraid and removes himself. I
heard he removed himself from the RCC. I'm surprised he isn't resigning from
Sharei Tzedek. He has to be crazy to want this all to go public.
"He was very careful in the girls that he picked. He always picked
girls who came from troubled homes, so that if we went public, he could say that
we're crazy.

"I don't judge anyone, but when you stand on a podium and portray
yourself as better than everyone else, and you say that we're crazy, that's the
issue I have. He's living a double life. He's been cheating on his wife for 20
years."When you're in the Jewish world and you look at Aron Tendler, you
might think he's sexy, but when you're in the outside secular world, and you
look at him again, it's like night and day.

"Aron told one of the girls that he had had an affair while his wife
Esther was pregnant and she miscarried, and he always felt it was punishment
for cheating on her.

"He told me stories about a woman in Beverly Hills and when her
husband was away, he would go over to her house and they would just lie in bed
naked together. He was all into the halacha against spilling your seed.
"He shouldn't be running a shul. If two adults want to have an affair,
then have an affair. It's morally incorrect but not worth tattling about.

"[For several years after highschool], I couldn't be at an event where
he didn't approach me. There could be 500 people in the room. He would
make it straight to me and ask me if I wanted to go outside and talk. I
thought, aren't people wondering what we're talking about?
I realized he was telling people I had problems and I needed to talk to him. But really, he was flirting with me. "When he'd walk away, he'd be standing with some single guy and they'd be looking back at me and laughing. I remember saying to him once, 'Were you talking against me?' I was so naive. I thought, he's not going to talk lashon hara [evil speech]. He's a rabbi. I must be imagining it.

"Then [fellow student and friend] would tell me things he would tell
her about me, and he would tell me things about her, so finally I realized
he was talking against me. When I'd bring this up to him, he'd say, 'You know
I love you.'

"SSS was much more damaged by him than me. She confronted him
recently. He said to her, 'I'd talk to you about it but I'm still sick.' He admits
it."If I was him, I'd say, 'I need help.' Play the victim. Just stop
telling people that we're crazy and lying. That just forces people to tell
their stories.

"The Sharei Tzedek board was told two years ago these stories and all
they did was blame the women.

"A letter was written to his wife Esther two years ago with
everybody's story in it. Esther got it and almost had a heart attack.
"The wife had to know that what was in the letter was true because it
was filled with intimate details about their marriage that he had told all
of us.

Even a girl who stayed in their house and the situation she had with
him."

There's been a lukewarm investigation of Rabbi Aron Tendler by the RCC
(Rabbinical Council of California) for charges that he sexually
molesting under-age teenage girls, many of whom were under his rabbinic authority (either at YULA, NCSY or elsewhere). The stories about his behavior have gone on
for years. Every major Orthodox rabbi knows about the complaints against Rabbi
Aron Tendler, including Rabbi Best, Rabbi Nahum Sauer, Rabbi Fassman, Rabbi
Avraham Union, yet Rabbi Aron Tendler maintains his pulpit.

Now women in their 30s (and some younger) who say they were molested
by rabbi Tendler in their teens are coming forward.
No civil lawsuit has been filed against Aron Tendler in this matter
(due to its nature, the women who say that Rabbi Aron Tendler molested them
don't want to go public as most of them have familes of their own, and communities
tend to rally around their leaders and stigmatize those who accuse the
leaders of sexual misconduct).

Aron is popular with his peers who are loathe to discipline him. Aron
is a "nice guy." He's "humble."

UOJ comments

The offer of resignation is something every school or shul should do to avoid a prolonged ugly battle.
Aron had the decency to resign, something his brother should have done a long time ago.
My heart goes out to Rabbi Moshe Tendler and his family.


Aron Tendler's letter of resignation

"It is with mixed emotions that I write you today to let you know of my decision that, after 22 wonderful years, I have decided to step down as rabbi of Shaarey Zedek," Tendler wrote in a letter to the 400-member families of the Orthodox synagogue.

"This has been a decision I have contemplated for some time, and after great soul searching and deliberation and with the full support of Esther and the family, I decided that it was time to explore other opportunities and embark on a new aspect of my personal and professional life."

Tendler wrote that he intends to stay in the community but wants to spend more time with his family and pursuing writing, teaching and other projects.

"On occasion, I would like to sleep for more than four hours. Selfishly put, I want more time, and if not now when?" he wrote. Tendler will stay on through the High Holidays and help the search committee in its quest to find a new rabbi.

"Rabbi Tendler turned innumerable lives around, and it will be a great loss for us," Brad Turell, Shaarey Zedek’s communications director, told The Journal. "He’s very talented and we wish him the best."

46 comments:

Anonymous said...

Do apples and trees have any place in this ongoing Tendler drama?

The Jewish Freak said...

I was going to ask the same question as annymous. What the heck happened in that family?

boog said...

Did Rabbi Moshe Tendler, the Patriach of this family, do the molesting to his two sons? Would make sense, would it not?

Un-Orthodox Jew said...

I pray not!

boog said...

Two sons from the same family molested?!!

What are the odds?

What is the common denominator?

Did they go to the same yeshivas? Camps? Have the same rebbeim?

Which road leads to Rome?

They do have the same father.

orthomom said...

See, this is why I have a problem with this kind of blogging. You allow an irresponsible and unfounded allegation like "boog's" to sit out there and fester - when there is no basis whatsoever for it. I got here via Jewschool, who is all up in arms over your being hacked. Though I am never supportive of that kind of playing dirty, I am unimpressed with this blog. I understand that you feel that there is a lack of accountability in the Ultra-Orthodox world, and to an extent I agree. But to create a situation like this, where you are swinging the pendulum so far in the opposite direction that any allegation made by anyone, against anyone is taken seriously by you and your ilk, even at the expense of the accused,person's career, family and livelihood is plain wrong. You are not doing anyone a service with this kind of irresponsible blogging.

boog said...

Consider this:

Long before the NYC Health Dept found any evidence of the relationship between MBP and herpes, Moshe Tendler was the lone voice in the wilderness advocating against the practice of MBP.

A prophet's clarion call based on his medical-biological-torah background or his fixation on weenie-sucking?

Un-Orthodox Jew said...

Hey Mom,

I'm just reporting the fact that Aron Tendler resigned!
I did not offer any evidence of his wrong doing.
Jewschool was upset about us being hacked for the right reasons; we are the ONLY legitimate blog that DOES NOT peddle rumors.
We report the facts, m'aam, and BTW I am a promoter of free speech even though in this case I do not agree with my comrade Boog.

boog said...

Fester, Mommy? What on earth are you talking about? My post has been up all of twenty minutes. Have I touched a raw nerve to have elicited such a strong and undeserved reaction from you?

OU; See if you can put back the time stamp on everyone's postings.

Furthermore, Mommy, if you don't like what you read here, stop reading...no one is holding a gun to your head and forcing you to read this blog.

Second, I am making no accusations; merely conjecturing that perhaps there is a common denominator to two sons from the same father/family being accused of sex molestation, with one of the brothers "admitting" to having been molested as a child.

Un-Orthodox Jew said...

Boog,

You are in my humble opinion making a leap of reasoning that I do not agree with.

The Tendler boys have a libido out of control.

There is no accusations of rape...., they should not be rabbis, because of their lack of self control and behavior that the Torah forbids.

Child molesters are a whole different story; they are sick mofos.
Both bad, one worst than the other.

boog said...

"Comrade", Ay-yay-yay!

That is a term I have not heard in a long time!

Kemach Yoshon.

boog said...

I hear you UOJ.

Just thinking out loud.

Un-Orthodox Jew said...

Boog,

That's OK, we are all entitled to our opinions.
Mom, is way off here about the contents of this blog though.
Jewschool had the most comments on their blog about the UOJ blog being hacked, than they had on any recent post.
NOT ONE COMMENT about us posting lies.

boog said...

IMO, there is much more to this Tendler saga than currently meets the eye and I would not be the least bit surprised if in the future we learn of a common "bond" that unites the Tendler bros. in their lack of sexual inhibition.

Chavah5760 said...

RE - HACKING ACTIVITY. I HAVE HAD VERY SIMILAR PROBLEMS AND THEY CAN BE TRACED DIRECTLY TO ONE OF "RABBI" MORDECHAI TENDLER'S SUPPORTERS. HIS ONLINE IDENTITY IS "REB TSVI" AND HIS REAL NAME IS "RABBI" HARLAN DAVID (TSVI) KILSTEIN. HE HAS POSTED TO YOUR BLOG, ADVERTISING HIS WEBSITE - HE IS SEEKING THE IDENTITY OF THE JEWISH WHISTLEBLOWER.

HE IS A CRAZY, ABUSIVE, BITTER MAN. HE IS REALLY ANGRY AT ME BECAUSE I HAVE A BLOG THAT SUPPORTS VICTIM/SURVIVORS OF RABBINIC SEXUAL MISCONDUCT, HE'S A RABBI AND SUPPORTS AN ABUSER - DO THE MATH. I ALSO REFUSED TO GIVE HIM ANY INFO ON THE JEWISH WHISTLEBLOWER. THIS "RABBI" HAS THREATENED ME ONLINE AND HAS APPARENTLY ATTEMPTED TO HACK INTO MY COMPUTER. HE IS REPORTED TO HAVE BRAGGED ON SOME BLOG THAT HE HAS PLACED SPYWARE IN MY COMPUTER AND NOW "SEE'S" EVERYTHING I DO. WHAT A LOON! THIS MAN IS TO BE SHUNNED AT ALL COSTS AND PLEASE, IF ANYONE HAS ANY INFO ABOUT ANY ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES THIS MAN HAS BEEN INVOLVED IN - SEND THEM TO MY E-MAIL AS I AM WORKING WITH THE POLICE TO PROSECUTE THIS SCUMBAG.
Chavah5760@aol.com

Un-Orthodox Jew said...

My yarmulke is off to you Chavah!

Un-Orthodox Jew said...

Boog,

I have a theory about kids forced to go into the family business whether they want to or not.

orthomom said...

Mom, is way off here about the contents of this blog though.
Jewschool had the most comments on their blog about the UOJ blog being hacked, than they had on any recent post.
NOT ONE COMMENT about us posting lies.


You just posted a lie.

How about this comment over at Jewschool:

’m in no way trying to justify the hacking of websites, but I’ve seen Un-Orthodox Jew. It’s an immature stew wherein all kinds of accusations are thrown around, and hardly ever supported with any evidence beyond “trust me, I know what I’m talking about”. It’s a shame, because I think UOJ is often correct in its general subject matter - many of the problems it discusses are real - and an honest discussion of these problems could immensely benefit the Orthodox world. But instead, UOJ simply repeats every accusation ever made by anyone, however doubtful, that it can get its hands on, and presents these as fact. In a style the National Enquirer would sneer at.

Kelsey, I’m not against the airing of Orthodox dirty laundry. But when you participate in a site like UOJ, you embarass yourself and damage your own cause.

Comment by J — January 18, 2006 @ 12:15 pm


You're just more than a bit irresponsible, and clearly very angry. But you're so supportive of freedom of expression, that I'm sure you don't have any problem with my expressing my opinion. Right?

Un-Orthodox Jew said...

Mommy,

Missed that one, on the other hand that poster was lying.I never said TRUST ME, I report the sources that it comes from after I check them out for myself and am satisfied that they are true.

He does throw a compliment my way.

Anonymous said...

Mom: I agree with you to the extent of UOJ’s posts being exaggerated and colorful. However, the issues he addresses are legitimate and the serious facts he brings up are accurate. Why not write the color off as “poetic license”?

orthomom said...

However, the issues he addresses are legitimate and the serious facts he brings up are accurate. Why not write the color off as “poetic license”?

I could care less about his "colorful style" - I find it amusing. It's the collateral damage to those people who have yet to be proven guilty that gets to me.

--- said...

Mom,

No offense, but I think you're more cut out for topics like "shopping in Five Towns"

boog said...

Mommy;

Check out the two beth Dins in New Hempstead that came out publicly against rmt. There is a tape and much more than heresay to base these accusations.

Do you actually need to see the semen on Ms. Lewinsky's blue dress to convince you?

Anonymous said...

Chava,

Keep up the good work and hopefully word will get out about this "tsvi" character. Fate will take care of him.

Jewgirl said...

I actually was out to get UOJ and tried real hard to catch him in a lie, I couldn't.
Lets give him credit, he's smart, funny, sarcastic, cynical and is a wake-up call to messed up phony bastards.
He can share my bed anytime he's in Ohio.

orthomom said...

Do you actually need to see the semen on Ms. Lewinsky's blue dress to convince you?

I think you misunderstand. This is not about the allegation addressed in this post per se - it's your whole modus operandi that I'm unimpressed by. But I suspect you could care less what I think.

Anonymous said...

"He can share my bed anytime he's in Ohio."

And you call yourself - jewgirl.

Some Jew.

At least OUJ is honest and calls himself UN-orthodox.

girl from chicago said...

I detect a little jealousy anonymous.
I'm also looking to hook up with a Jewish man with those qualities.

Anonymous said...

Mom: This is not a court of law. These accused abusers have had a long free ride because of misplaced cautious attitudes such as yours.

We obviously care about what you think. We're responding to your comments.

boog said...

I undertand you very clearly, Mom.

I could care less as to whether I impress/unimpress you. I don't post here to score brownie points with the Hamoien Amcho or curry favor.

Indeed if you read some of my first postings on this blog, I bashed the bejesus hell out of UOJ. I have since become a Baal Teshuva because on further reflection, much of what UOJ posts is stuff I can identify with. Just took a little more time for it to cross my blood-brain barrier.

We agree to disagree.

I just put out points for consideration
RE: Father Tendler and his two sons. To me this fixation on Sex, Lishmah? (Pappa Tendler) and Low Lishmah (Pappa's My Two Sons) is more than co-incidental. Freudian? Perhaps. Wrong? Maybe. Bares (sic) mentioning after all that has gone down with this family? Absolutely.

By way of Nimshal, I leave you with this:

Holmes decides to take Watson on an overnight camping trip. In the middle of the night Holmes violently nudges Watson awake.

"What is it, Holmes!
"My Dear Watson, Look up! What do you see?
"See"? I see the Stars, the Moon, the firmament!
"Yes, Watson!" What does this signify to you?"
"Signify"? Why, but of course, it is G-D's way of showing us his Power, Strength, His Omnipotence, and the Beauty He has placed in our World for us to savor, enjoy, and give due thanks!"
"Look up again! my Dear Watson, tell me what do you SEE?!
A long pause ensues and Watson turns to Holmes:
"As I have just described to you, Holmes, of this I am certain for it is such a clear beautiful night. Is this not G-D's message to us? Am I not correct, Holmes?
"NO"!! You blathering idiot, thundered Holmes, "Someone has stolen our tent!"

Un-Orthodox Jew said...

Hey Mom,

FYI, I was the LAST to come out against Mordecai Tendler, and gave him the benefit of the doubt until it was impossible to be neutral.

See my "open letter to Mordecai Tendler" in August.

Un-Orthodox Jew said...

Boog,
I use your moshel alot.
I remember those days when you were crawling up my tuchis, it was definitely a challenge.
I'm happy you have seen the light!

yaakov said...

Mom:

There's no excuse for rabbis acting in such a manner as to give others an inkling of misconduct in any torah areas, let alone sexual misconduct.

It is their obligation to convey a sterling reputation beyond the shadow of any doubt if they are to be known by the honorific title of "rabbi".

Many great leaders in jewish history always made it their obligation to always maintain their reputation at the highest standards possible. This was to facilitate that those who represent G-d have to be extremely careful when it comes to others thoughts.

These manyfold ongoing allegations opposing these rabbis may not be true, but to have so many people speaking about them in this manner makes me wonder how did they conduct themselves as community leaders?

Nobody ever made such allegations against the true gedolei hador who had to earn the title of "rabbi" without being a principal in a religious girl's school.

Shlomo said...

Hey,
First, If you're gonna do it, better w/ girls than boys. Second, somebody should check the family yichus, I suspect smoewhere down the line the Catholic church was involved. Third I don't mean to make light of the allegations because if my kids were chas v'shalom involved he'd be a dead man.

happywithhislot said...

Maybe the common denomitor is that kolko guy you posted about. did they go to the same camp as him?

Maybe they had the same 1st, 2nd grade rebbeim?

Maybe the bus driver?

Maybe the mail man.

So many possibilities.

Why jump to to the worst possible conclusion first? Unless, maybe its because statistically that is what usually happens?

UOJ
about the hacking, I was wondering why you said to look at the profile if you are hacked, how would that help, isnt the hacker have your password, so now they can mess with the profile.

The best method is to keep bloggers like me and others on your mailing list.
As soon as your hacked email all of us to post the new link.

boog said...

happy;

Maybe it was Mr. Plum, with the wrench, in the drawing room?

boog said...

happy;

You still wearing those Plaid sports jackets with the 15" wide ties?

Un-Orthodox Jew said...

Shlomo,

Is that the Shlomo from the Lakewood law school?
"Catholic Church" involved in the Tendler scandal?
WTF are you talking about, it's not Purim yet, put away the bottle!

happywithhislot said...

boog
lol!

hey just want to know if statistically, two abused children leads detectives to the parents.

Un-Orthodox Jew said...

Happy,
We DO NOT know if the Tendler boys were abused, all we know FOR NOW is that they can't zip up their pants.

Looking for solutions said...

Looking for solutions said...
UOJ you raise important issue and provide most entertaining cynicism.
Specifically in regards to our "Clown" costumed leaders and the life they have constructed for us is all pervasive. Are there any "gedolim" or should be gedolim that you would endorse (or even rabonim) and how will the tides change? Is this site the last of the mohecans bound to end in flames? what say you?

21 January, 2006


Un-Orthodox Jew said...
This blog is here to stay, not to worry.
I have a list of guys that I previously posted about; go to the old site-unorthodoxjew(no s).blogspot.com post dated June 12, titled Deep Nose.
You can also find that post on this site by scrollong down to June 12th.
--------------------------------

So I don't get it it seems many of the Gedolim you listed as good guys seem to push or endorse the same lifestyle you rail against what's the deal?

Un-Orthodox Jew said...

The people on the A list are good people, not lying hypocrites.
I believe in the Torah lifestyle, not in the perverted behavior that is cloaked in black clothing.

boog said...

happy-life;

Re-read my postings:

I asked some questions, did not make any accusations.

A good "detective" discounts nothing.

Is that not right, my dear Sherlock?

Looking for solutions said...

So why do you call some of them Shotah's!? and why do you name the institution on only some of them?

Un-Orthodox Jew said...

A shota is a shota even if they are well meaning.

Anonymous said...

We DO NOT know if the Tendler boys were abused, all we know FOR NOW is that they can't zip up their pants.
------------------------------
They sure did Zip up but something got caught along the way!!
OUCH!!!